There Was A Good Guy
Who wanted to laugh
Who wanted to spend time
With people

Who wanted to have fun

Who wanted his life
Not to be so sad

And maybe he felt
A bit akward with his body
Or a bit out of place
In this world

He saw a therapist once
Who listened and left

I'm ready
For new experiences
But they never come

I watch funny comedies
Better to laugh
Than to sob

The afterlife must be nice
Or simply not to exist at all
Some may think that will happen
But I can't

That's what I'm doing here
Here and now
Not existing at all

Shut up in my room
Like Emily Dickinson

And there's always more
More of the body
I don't much care for

More time alone

More IPad hours
There is always more
Of the same

I'm grateful to the people
That comment on my poems

I really am grateful

Just one big empty world
Full of emptiness

Like some meaningless
Computer

Do I exist at all?
No, not really

I get my sense of self
From relationships
And human interaction

Okay Jesus guy
I'm waiting for you
To answer my prayers
About the loving female?

Oh that's right
You don't really answer prayers
For good genuine people
Like me

I've carried my cross
Just like any other soul here

I can ask kindly
Or in a more demanding tone

Doing the same thing
Over and over
And expecting different results

Was it Freusd who said
That was the definition
Of insanity?

Poor Matt
Poor Lonely Matt
Behind the Glass Walls

There is the world
And there is me
Behind the glass walls

Trying to make a connection
To something real
To something genuine

Tomorrow will I
Scale the heights
Of the mountain

I don't know
Perhaps I will
In the cold snow

Just wanted to lie down
With a woman to hug

There are something like 3 billion
Women on this planet
And I can't find or get one
Single one
By chance or circumstance
Just to hug and to hold

One day the world will end
They'll drop the bomb
The A-bomb
Crying and screaming
Can be heard throughout
The land

I lived some life
Close to the source
Of all life

Wandering in the mountains
I didn't meet my friend
Like I was supposed to

All I had was the hope
I'd meet someone

Why do I feel akward
In this body

Am I just a thinking brain
Just a brain?

I want to know people
I want to share laughter
Like the Buddhist monks
Of Tibet or Nepal

Like the Samoans
Or Scilians

Like the Portugese
Or Polish

You know what people do
Have dinners together
And relationships
And friendships

It's not just a fantasy
People do that
In other cultures

They love each other
They spend time with each other
They hug each other

Where is my hug

I face the sun
Waiting for the hug
That never comes...