"hi uh um I'm glad that you didn't pick up actually
because I didn't want to waste your time it's just that
we haven't really talked in awhile and I just wanted to
see how you are, that's all. how long has it been
since you left? a month yeah I think it's a month I mean I uh
I guess it's been a month and uh. um. well how are you?
are you okay? your mother said that you had met
someone like me over there and uh I'm not going to lie
that hurt. why did it hurt. why did it hurt. I don't know I--
I really don't know I guess I just wasn't ready for you to
leave and I know I'm a mess and I'm annoying and boring
and you want to get away from me already
but I uh, I just I don't know what to do anymore you know
it's like I'm so invisible to everyone and it's so frustrating
because I want to talk for the first time about things and I
want to feel I really really want to feel I'm trying really
hard I swear I am, just I don't know how to and please don't
give up on me. oh god I've turned this entire thing about me
again, ****. I didn't mean to I swear I didn't it just happened
I'm so selfish no wonder you don't want to be around me I'm
sorry. I really am. but it's 2:35 a.m. and I tried to sleep but
I can't and I need someone, I need you to be here somehow but
you're not and I just, I guess what I'm saying is,
please don't leave. not yet.

(h.l.)