i hope you remember us as we were and not how it ended. the things we did were everything. the days we spent doing nothing and the nights we spent driving to nowhere, just far enough to get away from our troubles and our worries. because it felt like i was safe when we were together and the harsh world couldn’t touch me when you were there. you held me in the back of your car and i swear the world stopped turning but when we looked at the clock it had turned four times faster than usual. i got home late so many times my parents thought you were a bad influence on me but you were the best thing i didn’t know i needed. we were free and young. days spent wandering around stores, leaving empty-handed and realizing we spent 3 hours absent-mindedly walking, never felt like a waste. i would’ve spent years in those stores if it meant spending time with you. we flowed and we laughed and we ignored the bad. we were nothing and everything at the same time and you were so much to me. you were everything i needed and i hope you remember that because i think i was what you needed too. we spent so many hours not running out of things to say and so much time doing nothing, but somehow the memories are full of intrigue and happiness and maybe that’s because you were there and you were real and you were always shining like the sun. you left me speechless but we always knew what to say. i would’ve said anything to see that smile that lit up your face and my life like an exploding star. you used to like my little quirks and i wonder if you still do. it was only a year but it felt like you’d been by side since my first breath and maybe time just moved differently with you. we were in some kind of limbo between certainty and uncertainty the whole time we were together and maybe that’s why nothing could ever be explicit with us. but i always always always knew that you were something, that you were meant to be there in some way.