I pod I phone I couldn't give a toss
Android or Google it makes me so cross
Jumpers with puddings antlers and bells
No ****** turkeys so fights at M and S
Away in a manger?
More like with the fairys!
Mummys half cut with the pre Xmas sherry
Dads bursting out of a suit that's too small
For a couple of kids who deserve **** all!
Santas naughty list is totally ignored
Hundreds are spent to hype it up more
Excess in all and no idea of why
Christmas is lost and the meaning a lie
Gifts for a newborn became a flat screen TV
The Christmas works party
***** or VD
It's Christmas yelled out by Slade and Roy Wood
Danced to by drunkards who hope for some luck
It's over next morning with socks and lynx
Do all women think we're barefoot and stink?
So love to you all and peace on earth
Haven't you heard a ****** gave birth?
Her dad was unknown the father quite odd
Talked like a ****** to some guy called god
She was probably spaced out on Lebanese red
Thought that an angel had been in her bed!
So drink up my friends and remember one thing
It's Christmas tomorrow the birth of the king.
So off to the church and pretend to be good
And full of good cheer
And back to hatred for the rest of the year
Were bombing the ***** out of the Holy Lands
The points been missed
We're all ******.