I wish I could rip out my insides.
Rip out my beating heart so he could feel the pain that I feel every time it beats. Or every time it skips when I hear his name and just how I get lost in his presence.
I wish I could tear myself apart only to provide him with more knowledge. To have him understand what I can't even understand myself. I wish I could break my ribbed barrier and give him my life link as a promise of eternal love.
Our blood could intertwine and maybe for once we could be a whole. My last dying breath in a kiss I would give him my soul.
I would tear myself apart just to feel closer to him. I want to give him my undying trust.. But how can I do that when he is the one bruising my beating heart. The one causing my fractures and he ripped the trust out of my throat. And my God it was such a beautiful thing as I was choking.. Just hoping he would understand.
Countless times I would endure the same wounds just so he could learn from them.
That's when I realized I was willing to give my all to someone who would half heartily take me in. When They told me love hurts I was prepared to face the end of the universe to be with him. What I didn't know is that his true feelings were hidden. I was diminishing while he didn't even care to notice. Didn't care to take me in.
When I said I would tear myself apart for you I thought you would've been there to catch every piece.
Instead the pieces would fall into your hands and with lose griping you would just release them.
All I could do was not regret wanting you to keep them.