Sometimes I just lay awake at night and I think. I think of all the things I shoulda coulda woulda done differently if I could do it all over again with the knowledge I know now. Sometimes I just want to cry. Thinking about all the stars who's wishes I wasted on dreams that were never going to happen. Sometimes I just stop. I think of all the things I coulda shoulda done when I did something wrong. Sometimes I think that's why I have insomnia. I can't stop thinking. I wanna take large chunks of my life and erase and rewrite. Sometimes I lay awake at night and I think of you. And then I tell myself I'm stupid because I don't even know you. A couple of dates some steamy kisses one shared night that's all we've got. But what is that. Sometimes I feel like I can't go on because the weight of everything is crushing me and making me sink. Sometimes I lay awake at night and I try to distract myself from the thoughts of my future. I wanna be a teacher but what kind of teacher am I going to be. Sometimes I lay awake at night and I think. I think of this ****** hand life dealt me and I think of who it made me become. Sometimes I think I hate myself. Sometimes I try my best to cry it all out and I just end up falling asleep.