Just when I think I can to this
that I will make it through
this crushing weight descends
crashing into me leaving me breathless
tears build behind my eyes and I cant catch my breath
double over gasping thinking this will never end.


My heart has shattered
rebuilt
and shattered again
I don't know how many times
each time more painful then the last


How am I suppose to do this without you?
people tell me to focus on the good times to not think about you
well that is highly difficult when all my good times....
...were with you.
Don't think about the past this about the future
That is too painful when I built my future....
....around us.


People tell me to keep my chin up
that this pain will pass.
I don't want to keep my chin up
I want to curl up in a ball and cry my sorrows
I want to scream till my throat is raw
I want you to feel the pain you gave caused.


But most of all.......


*I just want you back....