what do you want me to say, what do you want me to do to prove to you that I'm sorry. I never ment to hurt you. it was the farthest thing from my mind, but I did, and I hate my self so much. I don't wish myself death. I want to wreathe in my hurt knowing I can't fix this **** up and your suffering for it. I want to peal all my flesh away and show you how much it hurts me for having been the source of all this anguish. I don't know how to deal with any of this.