i love you
i'm so confused
how do you feel about me?

how can you tell me
that you've "liked" me (air quotes) since we met,
that you would be upset if i had a boyfriend,
that you imagine a future with me

how can you
touch me (almost) everywhere
& bite me
& sleep in your bed with me

but then act like none of that happened
& tell me that you're ******* another random guy
that you met on Grindr

but then two days later you're back
your face between my ******* in a public restaurant
your hands seductive

why do you tease me?
do you want me or not?
do you even know what you want?

i know you have a lot of things on your mind
i know this is confusing for you
but you have to see you're involving me in this too
you have to see this is no longer just about your feelings
because you tangled mine up in yours

but the thing is that i love you no matter what
whether you're gay or bi or anything else
whether you might be bipolar or have borderline personality disorder
whether you are my best friend or my boyfriend or (other)

but i'm scared of loving you
& i think you already know all of the things i just said
so i might never say any of this out loud