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Nov 2015
i thought two things prior, prior walking out
ensuring a tree branch could support
a heinekken bottle on a branch...
well it was as clear as day: thinking proves we have a soul,
the existence of thought proves soul and nina simone...
it would be depressing otherwise, the highest understament
of creation being a dog’s bark and *******...
but there’s something bothersome about monotheism
and the ritual rites of burrial that makes it less sophisticated
than polytheism, such as the pagan greeks knew
and the hindus continue to approve...
see it as: why would man engage with the paradox
of coming from dust, and returning to the element of earth...
it’s missing something... ah yes... intelligence...
the pagans were unified in the burning bush...
the plague that unified the world... the 9th plague
in canada: huh?! w.t.f.?! the 9th plague in japan: huh?! w.t.f.?
the 9th plague is the origin of aztec pyramids...
you’ve been warned.
you see, i see the monotheistic coupling of the corpse
with the earth, coffin and favourite track and ceremony
really groutesque...
i like the hindus and pagans coupling man’s body with fire...
this monotheistic coupling with the element of earth
is too morbid for me... i prefer the bit they put two choins
on the sockets for charon... and burn you,
so the metaphor lives: we had fire in us, even though
we were primarily composed of water... we had fire in us nonetheless!
all this gothic coffin bits: the epitaph post-mortem rather than
vivus maxim... all that tending to the grave like it’s a garden...
no wonder voltaire rebelled with candide...
it be natural that a bush on fire be guidance of man’s true origin
and ontology... that it was fire that spoke... rather than earth;
and yet we give ourselves to the false elemental coercion...
it’s not earth that spawned us, earth was but a canvas...
it was fire that spawned us... with each splinter of the spark
of the brush stroke.
or i could tell you about the many times i spent in the brothel
in goodmayes...
the time i gave one ******* an ****** and she said that it hurt
when she composed herself to put her clothes back on,
the time i cried with one,
the time one almost nibbled my ******* off with a death-stare,
the time one stole my debit card and had me go back
and see the stash load of other cards exhibited by the ****,
the time i thought they were romanian girls but
were in fact bulgarian girls...
the time i ****** a ***** off and was asked: do you want to use it
and thus replied no...
the time i was asked if i wanted a ******* and
took the orthodox route and had the same woman for two hours...
and this concern, the freudian madonna-***** complex,
a fine divide... i can go limp **** with girls outside the profession...
why? because i haven’t objectified them,
in the case where they objectified themselves it’s no problem...
but outside the industrial profession of getting turned on
synthetically using cream it’s more difficult...
i need to know the person, i can’t objectify her in the way
she can already objectify herself...
i can be limp **** with a girl who’s a cashier in a supermarket,
but i can never be limp **** with a girl from a brothel...
it’s not that odd... it’s the explanation of freud,
as all theories, there’s a hyphen inserted to compound
and in a grammatical sense it’s the reverse of mathematics,
in grammar the hyphen is like = when two things are added,
subtracted, multiplied or divided...
time-space is usually a narrative of some sort that’s the adequate
answer...
madonna-***** complex also has a narrative, like this one,
i’m not ashamed of a quasi-impotence...
i just **** professionals drunk, i need the calories...
i’ve had *** with prostitutes and was aroused immediately...
a bit like acknowledging: in a dentist’s chair,
i’m about to get my rotten teeth pulled, rather than get a botox insertion
or a heart transplant.
as simple as that.
(the one that stole my saracens' beanie i will never forget,
i got it buying two saracens' supporters
a pint of beer each at a pub in liverpool st.
by faking delusion associating them with
the actual saracens rugby team...
i really want that saracens beanie back!)
well, we'd get nowhere with space~time or madonna~*****,
only because our linear foundations would
fluctuate in the realm of trigonometry:
they break your heart... you break their mind;
forget direct relation, endear indirect relation
where the former is time-space and the latter is time~space.
Mateuš Conrad
Written by
Mateuš Conrad  36/M/Essex (England)
(36/M/Essex (England))   
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