A purple knowing bruise
On the side of my hand
Walls or the bathroom sink
Alcohol licking my insides
I haven't been this worn out
In what seems like a long time.

Cocktails we so sadly but
Eloquently cheers
You in your big baggy work tshirt
You pay and kiss my lips
But can't risk
Further heart destruction
You did not deny
That you are worse off than me
But you say my name and give me
Such love
Even though
You will never be
I represented old Hollywood glamour
As people passed us on the street
I noticed for the first time
What we must really look like together.

Your eyes and body longing
We would reach across the table
Talking for miles and miles
As if we were over seas
Or plotting potions
To make the other one
Understand.

I watched a horse drawn carriage pass me by
In the Deep South tonight
And all I could think--
Just such deep pity for that wild
Horse.

Hands free, my dress flying in the winds around me
I had a moment at dinner tonight
Where I thought:
"I might go back to the hotel and weep tonight before bed."

Warnings of riots, violence surrounds us
But even in my worst moments
I scrounge up every effort
To just ******* give kindness.

Mothering my mother
I told papa it was walnuts
I look around at my glowing family
Not drinking, to everyone's big surprise
And perhaps, disappointment
Because my body and my face
Has recently become the epitome
Of liquid but so FREE
Poison
But I thought:
I thought.
I thought so many little
And monumental things.

Will anyone ever be good enough?
Jaguars leave behind a special scent
But as soon as the sun comes out
It dissipates.