You cannot cheat death; splitting up most of these little ripples and movements into a terrible uselessness. You cannot cheat death; slipping endlessly through the cracks towards you. You cannot cheat death; but sometimes you can beat it in the cold, stone-gray mornings, struggling down pavements to the corner cafe, all just to have a seat and just to have a smoke; looking across the plaza at all the young little girls tucked into their colorful scarves, their big coats swallowing them, hair blowing in the wind and faces red from the cold and those little fur boots...
They canβt be a day over twenty, those girls, with all legs and teeth and attitude, everything pointing upward. Youth is a wonder once it is gone from you.
Is it not enough simply to exist? Perhaps not. Perhaps the whole scam of it is just too much to truly ever be happy. You understand existentialism, deep down you accept it, but you never really think about it, can't ever truly let it get to you.
"Meaningless... Well then, what now?" βNothing," is the response, "Nothing at all."
Nothing but the smoke, trailing off in the early morning chill, lifting up with the wind up over the balconies, and the coffee, and me and those sweet young women layered up in their wool hats and little gloves, passing lazily by my table without so much as a glance.