Hey so take this with a grain of salt because I still can't pull myself from my anxiety to tell you this in person but I **** ed up and don't have time. Ive alwasy been wreck and honestly liking you was unexpected especially because I was talking to a  kid who I thought I liked.  You threw me off guard and it scared me so I threw up my defences. I'm not sorry for my anxiety attack or getting mad. I am sorry for expecting you to just get over it.I'm sorry for thinking you'd understand me without giving you the chance to see me jealous or protective or whatever. And I'm sorry for this ****** "sorry/explanation/confession" cause this isn't like me but I want to get this out of my head so I can enjoy my vacation next week not carrying this lump in my chest. This comes up because I was talking to the guy again and as we talked I was reminded I really still don't know where I stand with you and wanted to push myself to move on if you hated me.  Which you have the right to do so. Ok, enjoy your week!