First frost
Clings to tufts of winter green grass.
I am running
Running to feel
Something else.
I awoke sweating at 2.30am
On this Sunday morning
My mind in over driven panic
Just because
I have to face my future
My mind groans
Will I be this way for ever?
Will I ever break through?
I coax myself back towards the respite of sleep
And then I wake, knowing I cannot lie alone with my thoughts
They are not my friends.
So I get up
Wash up
Go running.
I meet people
Collect my daughter
Run errands
All, to stop the waterfall of my fear
As night time once more, draws near
And another week looms.
I occupy myself
Once again with things to stem
The tide of my subtext.
First frost
And a bird sings
So beautifully.