This is the story of the cola-nut
The cola-nut and the *****-nut
One day those nuts, they decided to race
To see which one could take first place
  
The cola-nut he took off first
A whole lot of edgy and with a quick burst
Now, who would've thought that fellow was cursed
When the poor cola-nut lay dying of thirst
  
The *****-nut, he set out slow
Not really wanting to let himself go
He knew he could win, if he paced himself
So, he sang a song, La diddy dee diddy doe
  
The race continued as the *****-nut ran
Then, took a break to honor his Pan
He rolled up a something delightfully green
And no longer felt the need to be mean
  
Sitting down resting his back on a tree
He whistled at birds while buzzed as a bee
I must travel further to win he agreed
But, first I could use just a little bit sleep
  
Now a gingerly fellow, he walked down the trail
And noticed poor cola there, lying so pale
He offered him water, he offered him fruit
And cola recovered, oh, what a hoot
  
Cola-nut stood up and ran, and he ran
But, the sugar buzz ran out and couldn'ted his can
Hydrated, yet still mighty well pooped
It didn't look good for those in the loop
  
Ol' *****-nut grazing, still way far behind
Didn't have worries; Had plenty of kind
Decided to roll up more of his hay
Then lit it, and puffed it, but no **** today
  
Now *****-nut picked up that old second wind
The further he traveled the more he would grin
So happy to have cola-nut for a friend
Yet, beginning to wonder when this race would end
  
When he found his poor friend lying flat on the ground
From a diabetic coma poor cola had frowned
Here, have some of this ***** said so chagrin
Got him up off his knees, and he raced once again
  
The long winding road to the big finish line
Was just up ahead according to signs
So cola and ***** did finally agree
To finish the race in a tie to a tee
  
Those two crazy nuts, what more could they prove
To each other that both are not really that good
So they skipped along happily and hand in hand
In a soft photo-finish, then lit up the band
  
There isn't a moral to this story told
But, read it while fresh, before it grows mold
It's a little bit different from old woe is me
Alas, here's a story to laugh at, agree?
  
So, sit back and smoke 'em but, not nicotine
And don't let the bubbles go where you would sneeze
Don't like it?  Make up your own make believe
I'm tired and going to bed now to dream
  
La ditty da da, dee ditty dee
No nicotine and no woe is me