It's 9:20 and the girl in front of me
is thinking about him
She's thinking about how he
can forget about what they had
She's thinking about how
bad she feels and
how it doesn't even seem to faze him

Is she not worth the memories?
Did he wipe their wonderful times
out of his mind
Or was he thinking she hurt
him so much that
he never
wanted to think of the
pain she caused him
ever again?

They see each other at school
practically everyday except
Saturdays and Sundays
Fricks' sake they even talk!
So why is it that he doesn't seem to
remember their relationship?
She still remembers

She still remembers his warm
greeting smile
The tender hugs that
just screamed
I love you

She was too shy and young
to say it back then
She'd always blush and look down
whenever he said that to her
She really couldn't control it

She knew she should
have said it back but she ended
up ditching him instead
yes she feels bad but
this isn't your normal kind of bad
This is the kind of bad
you get when you mix
fear and despondency
together in a bowl

Fear
because she doesn't want
to hurt anyone gain
Despondency
because she misses his warm embrace
and soft, vibrant smile

I have a little problem with this though
Why do I constantly narrate
my own life?
It's because I'm afraid of
saying I hurt him
I held him that
I had his smile for myself
and what did I do?

I threw it out like garbage
because I thought
I would ruin our relationship
sooner or later
I just didn't understand
the concept of
"breaking up" with someone
and "loving" someone

And so here I am lying
in bed
writing a poem about
the person I miss
just because
I couldn't say
"I love you"