I didn't want it,
not in any sense of the word.
Mom & Dad, I still have nightmares!
And when you bring it up... I lose myself.
I want to collapse into myself, to disappear.

Dad,
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry I don't hug you or kiss you goodnight anymore.
it's just, every time I do... I feel HIM.
I know it's you...
But I can't help but fall back; When I close my eyes & see that face...
HE stared down at me, HE didn't even look human.
And I'm different Because of THAT.

Mom,
IT'S made me paranoid!
I jump when someone grabs my arm...
And I don't know what to do?
I know, I made it seem one way... in hopes it would all go away.

But,
Mom & Dad...
                             I'm TERRIFIED!