Courage in a syringe that keeps me focused. Something I buy just like a cup of coffee. It looks glamorous in a movie, but the reality really *****. I surrender to the need that keeps me going. I deal with people that look ok, but will hurt you without thinking. I pay for the habit anyway I can. Doing what I must to keep it together. All I think about is how it hurts sometimes. I can't make it off of the Merry Go Round, believe me I have tried. Clean and Sober is just a saying, the reality is that I am addicted. No end, no glamor, just a truth of a cycle that I have to maintain and hope I don't crash before I can find an exit to my dependence on drugs.