He always loved
his toy train set.
we made stations
and little trees
into a  forest to
sit by his track
as the toy train
trundled along.
I made him a
station masters uniform
he would not take it off
all of the day.
It is not fair he got so sick.
I prayed for god
to take me instead
and leave him alone,
God answered my prayer
but said no.
I guess he was lonely
in heaven and needed
a little boy to play
trains with him.
I have not moved his train-set
from his playroom.
I will in a while,
but not yet,
not just yet.
sometimes in my sleep
he is paying me a visit.
I kiss him and do not
let him see
I have been crying.
I smile and say
what shall we do today honey.
he whispers back
lets play trains mommy.