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Oct 2015
It always shocks me that people love
My poetry.
When you are enveloped in flaws
And develop through,
Get this,
Critical thinking,
You find yourself a self same mess
Just getting older and clinging to
The chemical bliss your brain elicits
When someone says yes,
This poem is something I loved.
It's an addiction, honey, but it's worthless,
For the second it arrives my consciousness
Comes in with three different thoughts,
First the emotional and egotistical
I'm the best why isn't there more love,
and then the collusion rational,
My personal poetry is meaningless to
Others except by a voyeuristic view,
There is no intrinsic value,
Finally, always, the doubt and internal
Degradation. This poetry is really
Nothing at all. Just failures like
Adam grasping for straws reaching for God
But I aspire to nothing really,
And I don't care much about anyone or
Anything anyways
I just want to be special. And it's easy.
And the talent does sometime flow nicely.
But it gives me nothing. No bread on my table.
At what point does therapy and sharing
Just excercise my own limitless desire
For pleasure and devotion.
So many counter opinions so many theories
But every time my mind acts the same
I'm just a disgusting human with a
Dastardly perspective and I enforce it on
You in lines and rhymes to be God in your
Mind if only for a little while.
And I always think,
For those this bothers most,
How shocking it is that people
Love my poetry.
John Ashton Upston
Written by
John Ashton Upston
418
   PrttyBrd and GaryFairy
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