you are not allowed to call your sadness a drug,
it is not your ****** or your ******* or your **** it is
a bottle of painkillers that are prescribed to you,
it is an anchor that makes you drown
it is a lifeline made out of ribbon,
but it is not a drug you are not reliant on it to breathe
you know how to swim you do not need those
painkillers they are not yours you can survive you are
stronger than what you make yourself out to be
because you are not addicted to your sadness you are
bigger than this and it is okay to feel like your sadness is
a tsunami that swallows you whole it is okay to
drown into an abyss of darkness at night it is okay to forget
how to breathe it is okay to stumble and fall and relapse
a few times it is okay to break the mirror because you don't
like the reflection but it is not okay to turn the safety off,
it is not okay to run a knife over your skin because
the cool of the metal calms you down it is not okay to
practice a melody filled with screams and sobs as you try to
sink that is not okay please do not think it ever will be
and just because you are not a drug addict does not mean
you do not need rehab, therapy isn't always as bad as they make
it out to be in the books, do not be afraid of your voice you
will not be pulling a trigger if you speak he will never hurt
you again, i promise, just tell someone what's going on i know
someone will listen the word abuse was not meant to be
branded on your body you do not deserve to be this
unhappy you do not deserve to rid all your insides of any
substances trust me when i say you are beautiful, please know
that all storms will pass the color blue has many different shades
and if you are  a hurricane then know that you still have
an eye in you, do not give up never stop fighting yes you are
worth it and remember that everything will be okay,
because you are not your sadness

(h.l.)