2 years ago I wished for death
I breathed in pills like they were oxygen
Between the scars and my wrist and the tension in my bones
Nights were infinitely longer than days

6 months ago I fantasized her sweet kiss
Every thought dedicated to the romance
Every decision dedicated to numbness
3 am daydreams of helium tanks and ******

A month ago I drank myself out of consciousness
Until I was no longer forced awake
By the pulling between my temples
As if a void was in the center of my mind

This week my pillow beckoned to me as a long lost lover
Tonight we caressed each other
Tll I drifted into a blissful slumber
But plagued by mares of the the nights to come