I feel like I cannot breathe
I feel like I am suffocating under so much pressure that I am forgetting who I am
I just want to explode
All of my emotions are eating away at me and no matter how hard I cry they will not leave my body
I just want to scream
I want to sleep and never wake up
I want to run away to a world where pain does not exist
I really want things to be the way they used to be
When friends were there for you no matter what you did
When school was like a giant playground because everything you did was fun
When the only time you cried was when you fell off of your bike and skinned your knee
When the only thing you had to worry about were your brothers destroying your Barbie dolls
When just a kiss from your Mom healed the heartbreak of the first boy who did not like you

Now as I sit in algebra writing this
I think about the times I have hurt myself just to numb the pain inside
I think about the boyfriends who broke up with me and I still loved them because I promised to always love them
I think of all the friends I never had due to moving around so many times
I think about the times I chose not to eat because I thought I had to be thin like Britney Spears just to be considered beautiful
I have wasted so much time in my teen years
I followed everyone else instead of following my heart
I ran away from my problems instead of facing them
I had so much potential but I was too dumb and too blind to see that
Now I am seeing who I really am
I am finally gaining the courage to be myself
I can't take back the years that I lost
All things happen for a reason
I am thankful for half the crap I went through
Those hard times made me a better person
I have loved, I have hated
I have been used, I have been betrayed
No matter who hurts me, no matter what happens
I love my life either way
I am happy with the friends I have
They always put a smile on my face
Whether they choose to walk out of my life
Whether they choose to stay in my life
No one can ever take their place

I still feel like I cannot breathe
The pressure is slowly going away
Even though I am very tired
I am going to push myself through this day
Even though I want to explode
I will not let my emotions get the best of me
I am going to breathe, I am going to be strong
and just let the day be