It's such a shame. Such a shame,
that I'm no fantasy football game.
And try as I might, I can't keep up
with the numbers or the names.
During pre-season,
You'd wake up early for no good reason.
Just to learn me and how I'm breathing.
You'd read my every message,
and stay alert.
You'd always be invested,
through pleasure and hurt.
Every week has the potential to be the best,
you'd count your points and aim for perfection.
You'd think of me when you're out or when you're on a date,
you would never ever ever be as late.
You'd have a beer with me,
and truly enjoy it.
You'd never find any of my phone calls annoying.
But most of all you'd bet a **** ton on me,
something you'd probably never do now,
because if I were your fantasy football game,
Despite the odds against you,
you'd believe in us.