25 years old and i feel like im molding
the carpet is bleeding empty and the ceilings are folding
everything is already living dead, at least the way that i see it
they walk and they breathe but that isnt living to me
idk what u are idk what u believe idk human idk anything
i know that every friend i ever had never deserved me
i know that i could never make peace with some of my family
i know that nothing else matters except for what ill leave
i know that alive is so empty when death is all ur feeling
i really believe in these things  so overpowered by everything
i want to believe they can exist without this cancerous feeling
i know that ive done things that you could never forgive
i know that the bible says people like me are wicked
and we all deserve to feel like this
i know ill never go to heaven if it even exists
i know ill never beg on my knees im not your ******* *****
i know ill never pray for anything or anyone because they dont need that ****
i know that i ******* hate everything that trys to fight against this
i know that no one believed in me until everyone one else did
i know that the people i love still don't believe love exists
i know that it hurts me more than anything else ever will
to put everything i ever cared about into something
for you to completely ignore it
i just want to eat  i just want to sleep i just want one ******* day
where i dont worry constantly about everyone and everything
i know ill never be what you have always wanted me to be
so ill jus sit here puking garbage until something ******* saves me