Some days I wish I was normal. That I wasn't plagued with all these problems. The depression. The anxiety. The addiction. Not to mention the physical disorders. Somedays I wish I felt whole. That I had the ability to feel love again. Feel true emotions at all. I feel almost good somedays. I feel anger occasionally. Normally it's just a crushing feeling of dread. I wish I was normal. Maybe then I wouldn't have made all those bad choices. Wouldn't be as rebellious as I am. Maybe then I would still have all the things I've ended up losing. But then... I have to remind myself that if I was any form of normal... I wouldn't have all of the things I do. I wouldn't have been able to make my favorite memories. I wouldn't have the friends that I adore. The wisdom my life has created. I wouldn't be me. I may not be normal. I may not feel whole. But I am, who I am. I think it's finally time to embrace it. Finally time to start learning to love myself again.