He slit her throat, and watched as six pints of blood ruined the new floor that had taken him the best part of the day to lay
That was typical of the woman
Red was her favourite colour
This would amuse her greatly
Anything to cause him grief
She was such a messy woman
Shoes, don’t get him started on shoes
One hundred pairs
Who needs one hundred pairs of shoes
He should phone the police
They would understand
Probably be sympathetic
Surprised you never done it years ago mate
In fact, best thing to do is cut her head off
Put it on a pole
Hang it up in the street to deter other women
That’s what he would do
It worked, women were running and screaming everywhere
He watched as ten Police cars stopped off to congratulate him
You okay mate
Yes thanks lads, never been better
Just cooking Mary for lunch.