i know i left you for my own good, but that doesn't stop me from throwing up on my bedroom floor at 4 a.m. when i think about the times you held me there and listed the reasons you loved me.

i know i said i no longer wanted you, but i sleep with your shirt in my arms every night and pretend i can still smell your scent in it.

i know i said i moved on, but my eyes don't shine anymore and my heartbeat seems to have faded to an occasional dull ache compared to the 100mph beats i experienced with you.