I'm not mean. Being mean has
No reason, like remaking The Wiz.
Your accusation is false,
Like passing a Turing test is.

It's called being sarcastic,
Which is something I've inherited,
But you make me feel bad
Like the knees of Nancy Kerrigan.

It's not something I control...
My remarks just tumble out.
It's just unfortunate that
They're like sauerkraut.

That's my sense of humor
And I love it very much.
Only problem is,
It gets people mad and such.

And I hate that,
I hate hurting people.
I hate my jokes hurt
Like a disappointing sequel.

I'm not trying your life,
I'm just trying to be funny.
And I know it falls flat
Like an amputated bunny.

Don't look at me like that,
You know that it's in jest.
Please please please
Do not punch me in the chest!

If you want, I'll go and
Change the unchangeable.
I'd rather do that than
Make you feel replaceable.

I'm sorry for the jokes,
I think you look just fine.
I hope you aren't
Tired of me this time.