An undercurrent of sadness follows my every move and it only takes a
push
Holding back tears until I can be alone.
So that I can be lonely; it's easier to rationalise.

I forget what it feels like to be normal.

I get up every day
go to work
cook dinner
wash my clothes
clean my house
go to the gym
be there for my family
talk to my friends
hold it together
hold it
hold
until I feel it
push
pretend to be normal
push
pretend to be OK

I'm not OK.