I need you so badly now. I'm curled up in bed, my feet tangled in blankets and I'm pulling my hair out. My body is being rocked with sobs. I want to scream. I scream into my pillow, handfuls of fabric in my fingers, teeth in the foamy meat of the mattress. This is what I am. I am drinking in technology like liquor, to numb this immense emptiness. I have never felt so lonely. I need you so badly now. But you're asleep. And you have school tomorrow, so I can't wake you up. But my fingers will dig deeper into my pillow until they bleed and I will sob until my vocal chords fray like rope. I need you, but I can't bother you.