There's a cat on my street called Clive
Everyone loves that cat
He's slinky and sleek and so dignified
He wonders the street like the world's on his side
He simply won't fear the snarliest hounds, walking the wall as they jump by his feet
He simply won't carry any extra pounds, even after eating at every house on the street
He has always caught himself a bird
or a lizard
or sometimes a rat
He's so smug it's just absurd
And he'll break into a purr at the drop of a hat
He'll circle your legs and paw at your feet
and jump on your lap wherever you're sat
But I think he's a cunt
Cos I fucking hate cats!