Why people cut themselves,
I would
never begin to understand.

ok. so now I am lying
because my cuts
were never truly planned.

I know why.
the pain.
the misery.
when it all becomes too much...

yes I know you think no one understands

that no one cares
its easy to pretend
that you're tough

and tried true-
your ******* up in the air
saying *******

when really everything hurts
trust me I know
I didn't cut because I have more scars on my wrist
than lines in a notebook

I was so spiral bound up inside
that I
I never told anyone
they just thought those lines were
accidental wounds in reality
but sadly this was just a self destructive behavior and mentality

but soon when I began to heal
my wounds became scars
mapping out like constellations and stars
all over my arms

I don't hide em
this is me
I wear them with pride
like the rings on my fingers
because I've promised myself
my fingers will never touch another razor blade

I've made progress
and the scars begin to dissipate
like it's all clear
no chaos no havoc

the bleedings receding
inside the darkness is fleeting
suffocation to
breathing

my heart.
my heart is now beating

and I can understand why pain reflects itself
projects pain in the form of self injury.

so I lied.
I always // knew // why.