We're broken
And I can't ignore it anymore.
There's so much between us that it seems
Like we're miles away
From ever being okay again.
And I've lied all this time when I said
I've forgotten. I've tried.
But the memories are like weeds
Growing too thick in my mind
They choke out the light
And they leave my soul blind.
Don't get me wrong
I'm still trying.
I'm not resigned to never finding my way
To forgiving you.
It's just been a long time
And after a while this pain became part
Of my identity.
Part of what makes me...me.
It's a shame
But just hearing your name
Makes me cringe.
I can't even begin to explain
How much rage I used to feel.
How much hate.
But bit by bit I'm rebuilding.
Healing a heart that's been rotten for years
That's one thing mirrors don't tell, right?
But despite my pleasant exterior
Things on the inside weren't nearly
As neat as they appeared.
My heart was a train wreck
With parts shattered and scattered
All over the place.
But somehow until now
None of that mattered
As long as my face was intact
As long as I could keep up the act.

So I guess you probably never knew
How much damage your actions could do
But don't worry,
I kept the rest of the world in the dark too.
You all slept in peace
While I was fighting nightmares
And trying desperately to keep
My eyes wide open all night.
It didn't seem quite fair
But I suppose that's just the way life goes
You're still carefree
And I don't dare sleep
For fear I won't hear
My door creak open