Take 1 miserable childhood
Mix with 2 parts of
Insecurity    
1 part people pleaser and a
Dash of perfectionist.
Simmer for 10 years occasionally stirring in
****** assault.
Let cool.
While early years mix are cooling prepare the
Relapse filling:
In a large scarred heart mix together nightmares and
Fear of failure. Slowly stir in temptation followed by a pinch of apathy.
to assemble:
Spead the early years mixture  across the bottom of an empty soul and top with the relapse mix.
Sprinkle lack of support and triggers along top.
Serve immediately and regret...