you were so toxic.
you took everything good that happened to me and
breathed your poison all over it, because you needed
some kind of evidence that you were a dominant figure in my life.

but for whatever reason, I loved you anyways.
and I know you loved me back, in your own twisted way.

that was such a dangerous position for me to be in, because
I was never sure if you wanted to kiss me or **** me;
your mood dictated it all.

regardless- I would've given everything up for you,
because I saw light inside of you,
buried somewhere underneath all the rubble of hurt and anger.
and I was so determined to unearth that light,
that one little piece of you that was proof of you being human.  

darling, I should've started running from the first day.
but you know what they say:
"sometimes the person that you'd take a bullet for
is standing behind the trigger."