like looking at a ****** video of an alien
through hi-def 3D lenses, wibbly wobbly
(things that don't make sense to your eyes)
like laying in a field, still
while the rest of the world spins around you
like feeling all too much so it hurts
and wanting to feel so much more
crying and screaming and laughing
the urge to jump out of yourself
because your soul is packed in so tight.

thoughts bump into each other in your head
released from their cages they swim through your mind
they whisper or they scream and you don't know which is worse
you want to talk to someone, anyone
but you know the words would come out all too fast
plus who says this feeling isn't just a little nice?

lights on, lights off
colors flash as you open and close your laptop.
a threatening screen, yet welcoming, comforting at the same time.
a bright light in the dark of night
how can you help but stare?

more words swim faster
you laugh, don't try to stop them
let yourself go for the night
(the irony is that you're holding onto something anyway)
something intangible, unreal, but there
keeping you still, frozen.
euphoric, psychedelic, hyperactive
does anything really make sense?

standing up will pull you back down hard
listen and you hear a deafening empty silence
fill it with your sobs of frustration.
it won't end until you cry yourself to sleep
and the bed suddenly seems so soft...