at first it's grey,
that's the only way i can describe it,
it's like you can't hear anything but white noise
or see anything but fog,
and then the clouds form,
and it rains,
sometimes for hours,
and sometimes for years,
and you're just sitting there in the downpour,
looking at nothing,
because your eyes can't focus,
and it feels like your heart isn't beating,
and your lungs aren't breathing,
and it's just you,
all alone,
in the rain,
staring at nothing.