The saddest day of my life. My mud baked excrement died at sea. Bobbing up and down with the style of a cheap ******, I wiped a tear from my eye as I said goodbye. A part of me felt choked as white streams of bog role acted as the white sheet of a ****** scene. No police, no forensics. Strangulation appeared to be the cause resulting in decapitation. Wouldn't have happened if I didn't use Manipulation to overcome the chronic constipation. Last time I eat beans on toast. Now I'm being haunted by a **** shaped ghost!