when i was younger,
i used to make these bucket lists.
in second grade we were learning about the fifty states and one day we were given a map of the united states.
we were to color the states that we had been to in red. and the states we wanted to go to were to be colored blue.
i distinctly remember having a map covered in a shade of the vast sea because for some reason back then i thought if i could see all these cool places i would better my person.  

i've been in many more than 50 states.
sadness. happiness. guilt. excitement. disgust. jealousy. frightenment. joy. exhaust. et cetera.
and a gross combination of each.
texas, rhode island, maine. those are all just divided in lines that different people claim they own. but in reality death is the only guarantee we have in life and that may seem crazy and some people may believe that they are immune to this curse. i'm here to assure you that you are going to die. and shortly after your name will never be found in mouths of people who once knew you but only be seen in past year books. and even then you'd be lucky to have your name recognized. along with your name, your possessions will no longer be known to you. the only thing you'll really ever have is yourself and i'm sorry for that.