and in the end, when our eyes have closed and our hearts have been shattered
by people other than each other, and the dark settles and we're both afraid
because we both can't stand being alone in it, and in the end, when
God calls you by your name, I'll be waiting, or you will, up by the gates
of heaven because I know that we both are scared of hell, in the end
I'll have already written your name a hundred thousand times in the clouds
so that maybe by the time you meet me up there, the whole world
will know how much you mean to me. In the end,
when we forget what each others' laugh sounds like and our tears
come because we're tired and we can't laugh anymore about it,
and you don't text me good morning anymore, and my bloodstream
isn't shot with chemicals from you anymore, and I can't fill your heart
anymore, and Massachusetts doesn't remind me of you anymore, and
there are no more I love you's and I miss you's anymore and people don't
think we're gay anymore and people don't know the half of it anymore
then, with my last breath, I want you to know
that you've carved the shape of my heart in unexpected and beautiful ways
and I think about you more than you know and we've only scratched
the surface of what we have and what we don't have
I want you to know that I'll never meet someone who can write
the word 'synonym' and make me feel so much with just that,
I want you to know that I'll never meet someone so much like me again
and that in the end, being your friend has changed the course of my life
I cannot express all that I know or all that I feel about you,
or if I even should, because I'm a ******* nerd, and also too deep,
I cannot show you in this lifetime the amount of coincidences
and God-driven chance, and destiny, that has put us together
in the same place and in the same time on this Earth
I cannot explain to you the amount of beauty I see in you
but I am glad that someone so beautiful exists at all.
Thank you, thank you, thank you God.