Please shove more violent words down my throat, driving me closer & closer to that black hearse. I never meant to disapoint you...with shakey fingers I etch out my goodbyes across the smooth cold tiles. That empty place in my chest, filled with sorrow. I wipe the makeup off my face, I don't want to meet God that way. I don't want to disapoint anyone else. They say the first 20 years are the hardest. But I know 40 year olds that never got up on their feet. I won't be like that...I won't be like that. And when you scream out, help me it echoes off these dungeon walls. Sobs come & go like the ocean tide, Ocean I'll miss you. And they say to grieve the living not the dead and most of those who never knew love and love I'll grieve you. It's a violent time this life, I can tell You how you'll make it. take a deep breath & fake it. But I cant, because I'm selfish. So don't grieve me when I'm gone, just walk the art galleries back home. You'll find me there...