I am not willing to
I am not wanting to-
I am not reckless anymore.
For you, I put my foot to earth
and make the indent deep in stone.
I am not able
to wake one second more
as myself without yourself
shadow me and watch
for I will touch the tree-
and there I will leave most of me.
I cannot breathe a single breath
and not hold on deep inside
that cloud of smoke
that I breathe in,
you are the air, the air.
I am water,
madly carving our initials
into the very earth-
for you to keep.
In the salt, in the sea-
I am full of sense
aware I am, of you.
I do not care for wars
I cannot carry causes.
My hands are full of us and we
my arms are heavy-
loaded down,
with all the minutes I have lived
without you.
I found them
and will rage and storm
with all the loneliness I didn't know I had
until you.
I'll lay in wheat fields yellow thick
and melt into the spiny swords and look
to see the sky has puffed it's cheeks with
playful, jeering joy
for you.
Beautiful you.
And I will touch my hand to all I see
The Stone, the sand
and every yawn from every child.
I will touch the fireplace
and dance for you a wistful
sinewy waltz.
I will hide in all the rain
and ride on gust of wind to blow your hat.
In earth and stone
you'll find me.
I'll keep you safe with silver coins
and all the places I can hide.
And all this I give  to you
because I whisper sorrow deep-
I can only be in one way now-
I  can only be for you.


Sahn 5/14/15