of trying to forgive anymore

i just don't think it's worth it anymore
i'm sorry,
love wasn't enough this time
and everything that i thought about love
has been ruined

i remember telling you that you were worth being destroyed over
but no,
i let you completely **** me up and i regret it all
i was sad through it all
i wanted to leave through it all

but i felt so worthless without you
but i want to take a stand,
i am so much better than your 2am "hi, work was good, go back to sleep, goodbye."
better than your **** toy - you haven't made me ***, you never knew how to make love to me anyways, i realized how much of a scumbag you were because of the way you ****** pathetic little me
and i ******* hate the way i've become some little begging ***** in bed for you to **** me, i think all this time i've been begging you to love me better
better than your excuse to travel,
better than your excuse to hang out with your best friends who love each other more than they love you anymore,
better than everything you've used me for

i'm so tired of being the convenient one for you
instead of the one you want to be with

i think i'm ready to be selfish
i think forever was *******
and i've always known that from the first time you told me you wanted to marry me, and confirmed my thoughts every time you urgently denied that we lived together

our server the day that i decided to leave you had said, "your man is bored" as you pushed food around on your plate as i tried to listen to some ******* ******* story you had about you whining at work
and i couldnt help but agree and think that i was over this ******* ******* too