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If plaster of Paris is not made in France
If Ginger and Fred never learned how to dance
If shoestring potatoes don’t grow in a shoe
It don’t really matter because I love you

If airports have doorways but call them a gate
If calories will never cause us to wait
If moisture each morning is something that’s due
It don’t really matter because I love you

If hamburgers aren’t really made out of ham
And no one is sure what they put into spam
If something that’s old becomes something we knew
It don’t really matter because I love you

If plants that are planted are still called a plant
If uncles get mad when we step on an ant
If skies that are happy do always seem blue
It don’t really matter because I love you

If doors that are open are only a jar
If drinks are not served on a sweet candy bar
If vegetable soup is not really a stew
It don’t really matter because I love you

If kings in a downpour get caught in the reign
When birds lifting boulders are not called a crane
If flying the coop came from chickens that flew
It don’t really matter because I love you

Grammatically speaking, my title is wrong
And perhaps this poem goes on a bit long
But who cares as long as you know it is true
The one thing that matters, is that I love you