I've got some more wine,
to forget the words I'm drowning in.
We can share the next glass,
and talk about the way the world is,
and the way it used to be.
When we were ****** up,
making out on the steps of the old elementary school,
and too tall for monkey bars
and too young for bar stools.

I told you about my fathers past,
and you told me about your biggest regret,
about a girl with emerald eyes
and a night you wish you could forget.

I think about the letters I used to write you in my head,
and I used to tell you about this boy and this boy and this boy
and the boy that never was, they boy that used to be, the boy that I have yet to meet,
and all the boys I used to see.

Like the more I said their names, the more I thought they'd disappear,
but I'm just reliving old traumas, re-opening old scars
in a same-****-different-year.

I don't know how to form words, without pulling up old thoughts
and I breath in smoke and it speaks my words with a tongue I'm not fond of.
I let liquor dizzy my dreams, and those nights I sleep the best
and sometimes I wake in the middle of the night and can feel you breathing on my chest.

You're a phantom now,
and ghost of my goodbyes,
the sin of my God bless,
Your unspoken words to late to speak,
when I wished i'd spoken less.

When the nights are fine, and the days are new,
will I still love you like I do?
If you forget about your demons, do they forget about you too?

And when are you coming home, from the war you never left for?
When will I see you holding your head up high?
I think,
you've made me lose my mind.

It's too late to start something new,
and I wish that I could say these words to you.