There’s a woman on the phone who says she’s pregnant, explanation.
Well, in simple terms, the man has to impregnate the woman, this may take several occasions, but you get the gist.
Oh I get the gist alright, so how many occasions did it take.
Well, it's hardly the thing you talk about when you’re planning a baby.
What, how long has this been going on.
How would I know, might be one night, might be long term, why don't you ask her.
I’m not asking your floozie things like that, you should know.
Typical woman, just because a pregnant woman is on the phone, you naturally assume the worse.
I have reason to assume the worse, the neighbours bed you assembled.
Don’t remind me of that, Chinese instructions, it was a nightmare.
I was more thinking of how I caught you in bed with her.
You didn’t catch us in the physical sense, we were testing the bed.
And you had to be naked to do that.
She’s Scandinavian, that’s what they do.
You were under the covers.
She was covering her modesty, the embarrassment you caused that day.
Yeah, I’m gutted.
You really  have to do something about this paranoia.
Are you saying I’m nuts.
Well, the facts do speak for themselves.
You’re so right, it’s a strange thing paranoia, sometimes I think young James isn’t yours.
Just as well he’s the spitting image of me then.
Yes, that’s the strange thing, he’s the spitting image of your brother too.
What, what are you saying, have you been bedding my brother.
Not in the physical sense I think
Well in that case young James is definitely mine then.
Don’t know, the ****** your brother used, the instructions were in Chinese.

                                         By Paul Gaffney & Lily Nurmi.
                                                  Dubious ending by Lily Nurmi.