We were on our way to see the sunset
You had told me that's when your heart felt the warmest
I thought no longer and wanted to feel your hands when you felt the summer sun in your soul
"Move On" by Garden City Movement was playing, the vibe felt so romantically deep
I was falling within the time the song was playing
The mellow sounds made me imagine we were sinking into each other’s paths
Everything felt so surreal
You were looking out the window with a blank stare
When you turned to look at me I swear I could see cosmology in your pupils
I saw the truth, so bright and clear
I felt a kind of love that wasn't prompted
It was there in the most natural way
The sun was setting and our destination was close
Along the way we had talked about living together after everything had passed in our lives
You had mentioned names you'd name our kids even though we weren't serious, I knew deep down we had envisioned it already
We talked what we'd name our dog
We talked about what kind of diet we were going to have
We talked about showering together to save water even though we knew we'd have enough money to pay the water bill
We talked about reading to each other before bed
Going to bars and meeting each other all over again as a game
Movie nights
Barbecue nights
Silent nights
And long walks around the city at 1am
Heading back home and going to Ihop at 3am
When we got there I told you to wait up a bit only so I could open the door for you to show you that I'm still the same gentlemen I am when we first met
You smiled and got out the car, I held both of your hands and kissed your forehead and told you I loved you so much
Although we were erose, we knew we'd make it
I got the blanket out of the back seats and walked a certain distance uphill
Tall buildings, orange skies, and a little forest under us
You were into constellations and I was into the truth
I had named a star after you every night for the past year and a half and told you all of these stars you see now are a reflection of what you mean to me
Endless nights I wish I could've been laying down next to you
We saw everything, so you meant everything
The grip between our hands could start a fire
The grass we were laying on was so soft, you had said you’ve always wanted to watch the sunset with someone you loved
You said “my dreams finally came true” I smiled and held you so tightly not knowing time will take this moment away soon
The voices in my head were yelling random things out of excitement, I didn’t know what to say so I leaned over and kissed you like I’ve never kissed anybody else in my life
Every one of my senses were whole at the moment and your kiss reminded me of what it felt that one night I had a dream of visiting myself in heaven when I was at my lowest mentally
Now we’re here and the sky was darkening, a breeze was coming in so I let you borrow the hoodie I had in my car
The sun was nowhere to be seen so we headed back to the car, I opened the door for you again and you had smiled again
I thought to myself, I’ll never get tired of opening the door for you or seeing you smile
With everything that was going on around us, the positive and the negative, I only cared for you and you only cared for me
Our spirits had binded in between silences and we took long breaths before we kissed because we knew we wouldn’t be able to pull away after that
Driving away from the place, we told each other it wouldn’t be the last time doing that, in fact we told each other there would be better days which I doubted because everything about your presence alone was already the best experience in the universe
I could’ve gone to Mars and I’d still prefer being with you because it all filled my heart with joy
A kind of hope you know you can depend on
A kind of destiny that plays out the way you imagine it
A kind of love you know will last even after the bugs under the ground start eating away my body when I’m buried 6 feet under
The moment was taken away when I saw the lights of an eighteen-wheeler coming right at us because the driver was drunk
I looked at you in panic and you looked at me, time had froze
You closed your eyes just before the crash even though everything was going by so fast
I only remember seeing the sun one more time and that was in your eyes as if they had recorded the setting where I felt the most whole when I was with you
“WHERE IS SHE?!” I yelled
“WHERE THE **** IS SHE?”
My heart was beating so fast and you were nowhere near me, I could feel it
A lady wearing a lab coat came in, suddenly in my head a had a conversation planned out and she was saying you were in the other room and that you were okay
But you weren’t
“She didn’t make the accident… I’m sorry”
I remember doctors coming into the room because they had heard me screaming out
“NOOOOOOOOOOO” “LET ME SEE HER” “THIS HAS TO BE A DREAM” “WHERE IS SHE?” “THIS ISN’T FAIR”
My pillow was soaked in tears, they were falling by the sides of my cheeks
I moved my body around even though it hurt worse than a million knives stabbing me at the same time
I had to go see you
I had to go see you no matter what
The doctors held me down and I had to fake being calm for the longest
My mind was dying
My heart was dead
My body couldn’t take the pain
I figured it was you that gave me the strength to pull the cord, so I could go visit you…. In the other life
And so you did, but I had committed too many sins to go where you were
At least you tried to save us, I love you so much