I love you

As the blood drips from my veins i swear i am nothing

I love you

As the held back tears are finally released i swear i am hopeless

I love you

As one song plays on repeat and sketchy scribbles on used to be crumpled paper forms
I swear to everything innocent
I love you

If my future didn't seem so bleak and your presence so fleeting i probably wouldn't be like this

If my life hadn't  been so violently shoved to the brink of dehydration and starvation in the thought of my own doing
I probably wouldn't be like this

As i type these words i think of the night sky and all of the stars that aren't even there anymore
As i type these words i think of all of the stuttered i love you's
And all of the stern don't do that again's
And all of the 'you're a worthless *****!'s

And I realize
That all of this
Is just the beginning
I'm not sure if i want to see the end
I want to create it

While the words sink in and the fingers couldn't possibly be bitten more and the slashes couldn't be more painless i want to know
Why
Couldn't
You
Be
Here