I don't like being alone. I never have. It's quiet and silent and I swear the only thing I can hear is my own brain talking to me saying weird things. I can now hear my worrisome heart throbbing and pounding in my chest. My wary hands quiver and it makes it so hard to hold this pen. My eyes swell up with sadness and I hate it. I hate feeling this way. I hate being sad and nervous and and this anxiety. I hate it. I'm tired of this. Not just this feeling but with feeling in general. People think that a lot of sad people just want to feel something. But I'm so sad and I just want to feel nothing.